Comments on: If He Can’t Put a Ring on it, He Can’t Sign For it!

By: corrin

corrin — Thu, 29 Apr 2010 22:43:23 +0000

I agree that if there’s no ring, there’s no joint accounts. That’s cart before the horse. I’m the planner in the relationship, so all the money goes into my account to pay the bills and the remainder gets divvied up between saving and spending. We’ve been married three years and we open and update to joint accounts when necessary. We don’t go out of our way to make everything even Steven, because it just is by virtue of being in our marriage.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 16:26:42 +0000

Haha…you girls! :)

By: GREENI$BLACK

GREENI$BLACK — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:39:21 +0000

This is an interesting topic and on some points I agree. My BF and I have lived together, un-engaged, un-married for three years now. We have separate budgets and split our rent 50/50. I actually make more than him, so it’s really his pride that’s keeping that arrangement going. For the rest of our bills, we dole them out between each other. I pay for electric, he pays for cable. I do the grocery shopping, he fills the car up with gas. We each haev our individual expenses (cell phones, subway cards, etc.) and individual savings accounts. I’ve been wanting to do something joint together for a while but he doesn’t want to combine until we are engaged. It’s fine with me. Every situation is different and whatever makes you happy should be the direction you go with. And I don’t want him to put a ring on it until there’s enough money saved up for some considerable bling! :P

By: Broke by Choice

Broke by Choice — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 18:40:46 +0000

Personal finances is a touchy subject for couples and each couple should do what works for them. I personally will not be merging my finances with anyone besides my husband. If we aren’t will to get married, then there is not need for us to move in and combine households.

By: Tahnya Kristina

Tahnya Kristina — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 22:39:39 +0000

Hey Everyone,

I wanted to say thank you for having me as a guest poster on eliteedgemoney. Money between couples can definitely be a touchy subject but I think we all agree that any potential conflicts can be averted with open communication :-) I hope to come back soon and post again…maybe with a ring on my finger :-) LOL. I hope my bf is reading.

By: J. Money

J. Money — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 21:01:43 +0000

This is all great feedback guys! I’m sure Tahnya is pleased that she’s generated this buzz – pretty damn good for a guest post, eh? Whether you love it or hate it :)

I’ll have to keep this one on file the next time someone asks about combining money or not…

@Dustin & Deacon – Thx for clarifying! Makes sense for sure :) Although I must admit the wife and I do have ALL our stuff pro-rated at the moment (% towards house, “do whatever” funds, etc). The more one of us makes, the more one of us puts into the house as well as the more they have to splurge on bags of marbles….although I see this changing in the future.

By: Little Brunette

Little Brunette — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 14:01:18 +0000

Do the people commenting really read and then think about what they write? You don’t have to merge all of your money together, that’s not what the article is about. The two of you open a joint account, and each paycheck add the necessary amount of money to cover monthly expenses.

Some of you make it seem that your significant other is going to leave you high and dry. Sounds like some people don’t have trust in their significant other.

By: Dee

Dee — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 22:41:45 +0000

The thing that jumped out at me is that she’s been with her BF for 10 years, isn’t married and isn’t happy about it (at least that’s how I interpreted the !!!)

She may want to think about why she’s still with him….

By: Favor

Favor — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 21:59:09 +0000

I wouldn’t/didn’t merge a thing until the ring is on my finger and the paper is signed as God stands on as witness. But thats just me! :)

By: Derek Sisterhen | Past Due Radio

Derek Sisterhen | Past Due Radio — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 17:47:04 +0000

I’m with Dustin and Deacon on this – this is an extremely touchy issue to address. A person’s persective on combining finances in a cohabitating living arrangement is rooted in their worldview and philosophy on marriage.

Mechanically, I believe it’s essential for unmarried and engaged couples to keep their finances separate. I’ve seen boyfriends and girlfriends get wrapped up in mingling their finances and cosigning for each other on loans, then the relationship goes south and they break up. Yikes! That’s a messy web to untangle.

In a marriage, it’s essential that both spouses have a set amount of money to do with whatever they want. That amount needs to be the same and should be accounted for on the budget. This assumes that the money is being managed out of the same pot together (who cares if it comes out of one pot, so long as it’s earmarked on the budget?); division of finances breeds division in a marital relationship.

Ultimately, though, the pitfalls of co-mingling finances in a cohabitating relationship reinforce the data that shows divorce rates are higher among couples who lived together before they got married. There appears to be a statistical disadvantage to “playing house” before the commitment level changes (or at least is supposed to change) when a couple says “I do.”

So, I guess I’m with Beyonce on this, too: if you like it then you better put a ring on it.