Fascinating insight – thank you! Especially the #’s at that level like that – wow. Appreciate you stopping by and taking the time!

I had all the same thoughts.
Probably shouldn’t have even been published unless it was for click bait.

“my sin was lying about what I was doing. If you’re unhappy in your marriage, fix it or leave.” Here you admit that lying was wrong, and that the better (and honest) approach is to “fix it or leave.” Truth and love do, I believe, need to work together in a marriage. When you say that complete honesty did “more harm than good”, I wonder if you mean that it brought about confrontation? Confrontation is actually a good thing. It can be very unpleasant and trigger all sorts of negative feelings, but if healthy confrontation can be developed (over time, with practice, lots of error along the way), it will be one of the best things you can have going for you in a relationship. I’m glad you’re being honest with your wife. I think that sharing with her about your past will help build in a new accountability for you – since you do admit to “missing the thrill.”

My past has given me a greater appreciation for my wife. As a few have pointed to my statement about “…but there are times I miss the thrill of meeting a new girl”. I would ask them to pull out those stones only if they have never felt some nostalgia for their foolish past only to make them more grateful for what they have now.

As I stated, the lying was the worst part of what I did. I wanted to keep my family together, but I was deeply depressed about my marriage. Years of personal and couples counseling did nothing. If I could go back and do it again, I would have just left then hired escorts. Yes I used protection every single time and no I was not having sex with my then wife. That was the problem. As for the “lack of professionalism” I am only speaking as a client. I know what I felt made a better experience and what didn’t for me. Selling drugs, upselling, etc are, in my opinion, unprofessional and extremely dangerous.

I had thought that same thing about my first marriage. I figured once I got older things would just settle in, They didn’t. It was a terrible marriage and I’m glad to be out. I have found total and complete honesty to do more harm than good. I have been as honest as I can be with my wife. I’m not sure what telling her more would accomplish.