It’s wedding season!

And do you know what that means?…

It’s time for everyone to pull out their wallets and pay some money into the $50 billion dollar industry of wedding celebrations!

Actually, we might be spending much more than that this year… From what I’m hearing, many couples who got engaged before the pandemic didn’t get to have their weddings last year and are trying to all schedule them this year. Even some couples who did have small COVID weddings, are planning another wedding just ‘cause they feel ripped off from not having a big gathering the first time.

Anway, this has sparked a lot of chatter about wedding gifts. I got the following note from a reader named Heather last week…

“How much should I give for a wedding gift — if I am IN the wedding and have to already spend money on bridesmaid stuff? The bride wants to do a traveling bachelorette weekend which is costing $400 each person, im guessing a bridesmaid dress will be $100 and prolly more costs on top of this. Should I still give them a wedding present too and how much? I was planning to give $150 because they are my close friends, but now I’m thinking no present is OK?

Im not tryna be a cheap friend I just have SIX weddings this coming year to attend and will be in 3 of them. I will be a bridesmaid (2 for sure, 1 hasn’t asked yet but I think they will). So it’s an expensive year and have to think about savings.”

Tough spot! Six weddings in a year is a lot, especially close friends where you might feel you need to give more.

I’m going to share my thoughts on Heather’s situation first, then all you readers can tell me how wrong I am in the comments section. My guess is everyone’s got a different opinion on this, here is mine…

When It’s OK to Give a Small Wedding Gift (or None at All!)…

I’ve probably attended 20+ weddings so far in my life and been a groomsman in 6. My wife has been a bridesmaid maybe the same amount of times. Sometimes we give big, and sometimes small.

As a baseline, our standard wedding gift is around $100-$150 (per person attending), so that’s $200-$300 for me and my wife. We like to give cash in an envelope with a card on the wedding day.

But, if either of us is IN the wedding, we usually assume much more. Upwards of $500-$1000+ in total costs (pre-wedding events, travel, outfits and gifts). I know that’s a HUGE amount, but if we’re asked to be included in the wedding, it means we’re very close to the couple getting married and are OK spending money on them.

Here are some guidelines we tend to follow regarding gift giving…

• If you’re in the wedding party, and are expected to spend a substantial amount for your role, it’s probably OK to give a smaller gift, or none at all. Dollar amounts vary depending on how close we are with the bride/groom. (The last wedding I was in cost me $270 for a suit rental, but since there were no other costs (no batch party, etc) and we are close friends with the couple, we also gave a $400 cash gift. If the wedding related costs were more, like $600-$700, we probably would’ve given less. This couple are very close friends of ours).
• If you have expensive travel for a wedding, a small gift is OK. I’ve traveled to Australia, New Zealand, and across the country to attend various weddings. In these cases I’ve given smaller cash gifts, or just a nice card. Usually the wedding couple are just happy that we travelled so far to celebrate with them and don’t expect a big gift.
• If you’re not very close with the bride and groom, don’t feel compelled to give a huge amount. For weddings of distant relatives or “courtesy invites” from couples we’re not really close with, $100 would be my gift amount, I think.
• If you don’t have much to give, a small amount is OK! My Mum told me the most meaningful wedding gift she received was just $5. And it wasn’t even a $5 bill – it was 2 x $2 coins and 1 x $1 coin (Australian money). The family that gave her the money didn’t have much in life, but they gave $5 because that’s what they could afford at the time. Personally, I’m blessed to have never been in this situation. But for anyone out there who doesn’t have much money to give, that’s OK! Any giving is good giving.

Ways to Save Money as a Wedding Guest

If I were in Heather’s situation, here are a few things I can think of that might help…

For the weddings I’m a part of (and if I were really close with the brides), I might have a conversation with them about how much the wedding is costing the bridesmaids and if they want a gift, too. This could be awkward, but there might be a few ways to bring it up in a casual way?

For the pre-wedding events, there’s no harm in bowing out of anything you’re uncomfortable paying for. If a bride or groom asked me to spend money on a trip I couldn’t afford or an activity I didn’t totally agree with, I’d have no problem telling them to continue without me. With the saved money I could give them a bigger gift anyway.

If I really wanted to give as much as possible to all 6 weddings, I’d pick up a small side hustle to cover the costs. Making an extra $2k in a year wouldn’t be that hard with all the gig-economy apps available these days. It’s for a great cause.

Lastly, there are other ways to contribute to a wedding besides cash gifts! At my wedding, there were several people who stood out as “helpers”… They solved problems, always made sure my wife and I had what we needed and were having a good time, helped with some coordination, and even put out a few fires we didn’t even know existed until months later! Sometimes just supporting the marriage and wedding day is more than money is worth. Heather might be a perfect spot to do the same. Being a bridesmaid comes with responsibilities, but if you go absolutely above and beyond the role, then THAT is what is remembered in the long run. Not how much $$ you put into an envelope.

Well, that’s my 2 cents on it.

What do you guys reckon? What are your standard wedding gifts and giving guidelines?

Have a great weekend,

Love, Joel

[This post, How Much Do You Give for Wedding Gifts These Days?, was first published by 5am Joel on Elite Edge Money]

Inside: See how one guy used a bit of creativity and elbow grease to create a one-of-a-kind Montana sapphire engagement ring.

Last year we did a post about engagement rings and held a few competitions for the cheapest ring, the most expensive, the oldest ring, and funny marriage proposal stories! (winners were announced here)

I also promised to share the story about my wife’s unique engagement ring, but just realized I never did that! So, this post is about how it all went down, plus a few other cost-effective ring ideas people shared.

Hopefully it gives some inspiration or ideas to any of you guys or gals planning to propose soon to your significant others! And for the rest of y’all, just a fun and sappy story. :)

First, here’s a glimpse of my wife’s engagement ring…

The stone is a Yogo Sapphire. And the reason it’s weird-shaped is because I mined it with my bare hands! The setting and band are white gold with teeny tiny diamonds all around it. The all-in cost was $1,390.

My Clueless Beginnings … How Much Should You Spend on an Engagement Ring?

I was 27 years old and had no clue what I was doing. I’m guessing most people are a little lost and confused when they’re planning the biggest investment of their life (the marriage, not the ring). Carats, ring sizes, advice coming in from all directions … ring shopping is quite overwhelming! 

My married friends weren’t much help. One colleague at work told me to spend at least $30,000 on a ring! I’ll never forget — he said, “Think about your wife sitting around having brunch with her friends… you want her to have the biggest and fanciest ring to show off.”    Horrible advice.

The internet told me to spend 3 months of my salary on a ring. I earned ~$90k/year back in 2013, so this would have been like $22,500! This was WAY more than I had in mind. I continued shopping around online, but never found anything that felt right.

Why Does an Engagement Ring Have to Be a Diamond?

My wife never really liked diamonds. She studied soil science, worked in farms and vineyards, and was always more fascinated with other types of earth stones.

One day I was chatting with a family member and they mentioned that maybe a colored sapphire would be nice instead of a diamond ring. I had never considered a sapphire engagement ring before. I guess I thought anything less than a big sparkly diamond might seem cheap. But, the more I thought about my wife’s style and attitude, the more I came to like the sapphire idea.

Better yet, I was recommended a specific type of sapphire, called a Yogo Sapphire. Yogos are found only in Montana, and since my wife’s family is from up there, it had a cool personal connection. I also heard that the center stone in Princess Diana’s famous engagement ring might be a yogo sapphire, so this eradicated my fear of seeming “cheap.”

Looking back, I don’t know why I cared so much about what others thought. My advice now for any people looking to buy a ring is: Do whatever you feel is best for you and your partner. Don’t let others decide your ring. The more unique/different/personal it is to you, the more special it will be.

Finding a Yogo Sapphire

When I was chatting with another family member at Christmas, they were telling me about visiting a yogo sapphire mine once as a kid. His school class took an excursion into the mine, and all the kids got to try mining their own stones.

This got me thinking … Instead of buying a sapphire, why don’t I just visit a mine, ask the workers if I can borrow a pick axe, and dig up my own natural sapphire? How hard can it be? Plus it’ll save me a few bucks instead of buying one at the store.

I started calling around to different mines in Montana to ask about yogo mining. Unfortunately, I hit a few roadblocks. Since yogos aren’t very profitable for the mining business, there was only 1 mine that specialized in yogo sapphires, and that mine had been closed for 2 years due to a large accident involving the owner.

After a few more phone calls to mine sites, I struck some luck, albeit a bit of a risk …

I found a guy who owned a small mine in the middle of dingo woop woop, Montana. He said that a few years back he bought a truckload of “reserve ore” (dirt) from a yogo mine and he’d be happy to ship me some. He said “Give me your credit card number over the phone, I’ll ship you a box of dirt and some instructions, and you’ll probably find some yogo sapphires in there.”

The guy said he’d charge me $100 for the dirt and $40 for shipping. 2 weeks later, I had a large box of dirt delivered to a friend’s house in Los Angeles.

(I guess things have changed since I was searching for a Montana sapphire because some mining production has restarted and there are even options for people to find their own stones now. Yogos in particular are coveted enough that the ones that come from “yogo gulch” can come with special certification.) 

Mining Gemstones Isn’t Really That Hard …

The box was about the size of a small cooler. I was expecting to find some regular loose soil inside that I’d have to sift through, but instead there were about 15-20 large dirt rocks in the box, each about the size of my fist.

The instructions were to soak the rocks in water and slowly rub them with various tools until you find gems inside. It was a very slow and tedious process that took several trips to my friend’s house to work on. After hours and hours of rubbing and scraping, we started to find little rough sapphires …

We ended up with about 100 tiny blue stones, only of which 4-5 would be big enough to put in a ring. Coincidently, one gemstone was in the shape of a heart, so that was used in the final ring.

How I Met the Fancy Ring Designer

This was a pure coincidence … The week after mining the sapphire, I was throwing a party at my house and one of my friends brought along a guest. The guest turned out to be a custom necklace designer who worked at a fancy jewelry store in Beverly Hills. 

After a few beers, we got talking about the sapphire story, and he offered to design and make me a ring. I was surprised, because he was used to designing custom bling bling for celebrities and gangster rappers in town … Their budgets were in the hundreds of thousands of dollars, mine was only a few grand. He told me not to worry about the money, and he would ask his boss if he can just do this job “under the table.”

I gave him the yogo sapphire and after a few weeks of emails back and forth with design ideas, it was all ready. I picked up my custom ring outside the back of his workplace and in exchange for an envelope full of cash. The best $1,250 I’ve ever spent. :)

$140 for the stone + $1,250 for the ring stuff = $1,390. Not too shabby! 

It’s the Thought That Counts, Not the Money

At the end of the day, any ring is a good ring. I like to think that my wife would have said Yes even if I proposed with an empty box. (Some people don’t even want a ring, just an eternal promise of love .)

During the ring competition last year, we got a TON of responses from people who spent less than a few hundred dollars on a ring. And some even under $1!

So if you’re planning a proposal in the near future, don’t feel pressured to spend money just ‘cause. High or low, YOU set the budget.

Other Ideas for Budget-Friendly Engagement Rings and Discounts

Here are a few ideas we got from the competition respondents!

• Enso Rings ($20 – $40): These are made from super durable silicone and look quite sharp I think!
• Lab Diamonds (~$300 starting): These diamonds are made in a lab (environmentally friendly!), and are indistinguishable from earth diamonds. You can choose your own cut/color/clarity/carat weight.
• Tattoo rings ($50 up to a few hundred):  Hard to propose with, unless you’re right outside the tattoo shop down on one knee?
• Watch repair person hook-up (discounts vary): Take your watch into a jewelry store and ask to speak to the “repair technician” directly (not the sales clerk). Ask the repair person if they have any diamond connections and if you can strike a cash deal. (The watch is just a decoy to talk to the repair person, obviously!) Many technicians do the parts/metal/stones buying for small stores and may be able to get you a deal! h/t to Max for this tip!
• Estate Sales (price depends): Estates sales are great places to find old and vintage style rings. Prices depend on the area and ring type, but you can get killer deals if you’re patient.
• Jewelry Auctions: Some of these are online estate sales or leftovers from events that didn’t sell. Caution here: Watch out for taxes and sales surcharges that some auctions apply.
• Ask about upcoming sales in store: If you’re at the store and not in a rush to buy, simply ask the clerk if there are any upcoming sales or events. You’d be surprised how many people don’t ask because they’re embarrassed. There is no harm in ever asking for discounts!

Happy to add more to this growing list if you have tips or tricks to share!?

Have a great weekend, all!
Joel

PS: For all you bloggers and content creators out there… I had the pleasure of chatting with Pete McPherson on the Do You Even Blog podcast! Episode here if you’re wanna listen :)

[This post, How I Went Mining and Made My Wife’s Unique Engagement Ring (The Best $1,390 I’ve Ever Spent), was first published by 5am Joel on Elite Edge Money]

[Hey guys! Please welcome back to the site today, Lyn Alden, who shares her take on wedding costs and why she decided to only spend $800 getting married this year! The pressure is real out there, but there are other ways if you’re open to it!!]

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The average cost of a wedding in the United States was somewhere between $25,000 and $33,000 in 2017, depending on which source you believe.

If that’s not a personal finance minefield, I don’t know what is.

But even scarier, the reasons that many people spend that much are concerning, particularly in the way they finance it.

Despite earning a considerably higher income ourselves than the average household (and having hundreds of thousands of dollars stashed away before our 30’s) my husband and I married in early 2018 for about $800, with most of the cost being the wedding bands.

Now, admittedly, that’s a bit extreme too, but even looking back on it 7 months later, I couldn’t be happier with our choice!

This article takes a look at where all the money goes for weddings, why people spend so much, how to spend less, and why we decided to skip it all.

Wedding Cost Breakdown

According to a survey of about 13,000 participants by The Knot, the average wedding in 2017 cost $33,391. They do these surveys each year with similar results, making the sample size over time pretty huge.

This number includes the engagement ring, but excludes the honeymoon. Here’s the detailed breakdown:

The biggest expense by far is the venue, accounting for almost half the total price tag.

The second or third biggest is the engagement ring, at $5.7k on average.

Catering is another huge expense at $70/person, which depending on the size of the wedding is one of the biggest expenses.

Then there’s the music, the ceremony, the florist, the cake, the photography, the dress, the multitude of other things, and all of it adds up to over $33k. Even all those paper invitations people send out total $408 on average. But geography plays a huge role too – the average wedding price ranges from $18k in Utah to almost $77k in Manhattan.

As a caveat, I think the sampling bias of surveys like this is a bit skewed. The types of people that would fill out surveys like this, and that visit wedding websites the most, are likely people more interested than average in elaborate weddings.

Based on another survey of over 10,000 participants in 2017 by CostofWedding.com, the average wedding was $25,764, and the median was a slightly tamer $15,000 or so. A third survey by Student Loan Hero placed the median at about $20,000.

Regardless of which source is the most accurate, it’s all still rather high, considering that the median amount that families aged 35-54 have saved for retirement is only about $60,000.

Why Do People Spend So Much?

If people’s reasons for spending so much on weddings were purely for happiness, there’d be less to comment on. After all, who I am I to tell anyone else how to spend their money?

Just because I’d rather stash more cash into my thrift savings plan or Roth IRA than spend on big things doesn’t mean everyone else has to.

But it’s murkier than that.

According to Student Loan Hero’s survey, 47% of couples felt pressured to have a big costly wedding, either by family, friends, or society:

And 74% of respondents in that survey said they are going into debt to fund their upcoming wedding, with a whopping 61% of them saying they went into credit card debt for it.

If someone sees a friend have a large wedding, it can feel inadequate to have a small wedding. Like it’s a direct comparison about how successful you are, or how big your set of friends and family is. It’s a status symbol.

But the same thing goes for the cars we drive, the houses we buy, and the clothes we wear. It’s important to step back and make sure the things we buy are truly making us happy, and that we’re not just buying things to keep up appearances or stay competitive with peers.

Why We Spent Almost Nothing on Our Wedding

My husband and I spent a few hundred bucks on our wedding. We just hired a chaplain to marry us in an adorable little coffee shop, and then went out for a nice dinner together. We kept it a day just for us two to share.

The two of us are located very far from both of our families, and our families are located very far from each other, so the traveling logistics of setting up a wedding would have been a nightmare.

Moreover, our families are of two totally different religious and cultural backgrounds, with very different traditions, which would have made planning the ceremony and the reception complex. My husband comes from an Egyptian Muslim background, while my family is partially Catholic and partially New Age.

But despite its simplicity, it was just as memorable as any wedding I could have imagined having. Our favorite love song happened to play on the coffee shop radio as we got married, and I may or may not have cried happily about that coincidence. Little details like that are what make a day memorable.

We also skipped the engagement ring. My then-boyfriend and I were on a vacation in Hong Kong a few years ago, relaxing in our hotel bed looking over at the city’s beautiful skyline, and I casually asked if he wanted to marry me. No ring, no public display, and no concern about which gender is supposed to pop the question.

And lastly, one of the biggest reasons for us skipping everything was to save planning time! The idea of planning for months for a single-day’s event was exhausting to think about. We decided to spend that time getting extra exercise, traveling, building our business, and more realistically, watching reruns of Friends on Netflix together.

In the end, it does come down to personal taste. I don’t like wearing expensive jewelry, and neither of us were interested in being center-stage of a huge gathering. But in addition to fitting our tastes, we had to push back a bit at society’s expectations of how we should do it and how much we should spend.

In making this choice, we now have more than $30,000 extra money stashed away in cash and investments than we would have had with a normal wedding.

Here Are 2 Major Ways to Spend Less on Weddings

At $33,391, the average 6-hour wedding (ceremony + reception) comes out to $5,565 per hour.

Put another way, if you had $33,391 at age 30 and instead of spending it on a wedding you stashed it away in index funds or dividend stocks for 30 years earning just 7% per year in total returns, you’d have over $250,000 by the end of that period.

That one decision alone would give you more retirement savings than the average person without ever saving another dime! Even after adjusting for 2% annual inflation, you’d have over $140,000 in today’s dollars:

Alternatively, you could also use that $30,000 savings in other fun ways, say, by going on a $5,000 dream vacation every year for the next six years! Imagine all the stories and experiences you’d have at the end of those!

But if you don’t want to go all-out and skip the wedding costs like we did, here are two high-impact ways to at least significantly trim them.

#1. Relax on Engagement Ring Rules

There’s a lot of pressure on men to save up for months to buy their fiancée a diamond engagement ring.

According to the American Gem Society, this tradition started in the 1400’s when Archduke Maximillian of Austria gave a diamond engagement ring to his fiancée, which started a trend among European aristocracy.

It was only in the mid-1900s that the De Beers diamond mining company began advertising the concept heavily to middle-class Americans. They even specifically marketed the idea that a man should save up a month’s income for the diamond ring, and then later revised it to two months’ income – which they were happy to sell!

So, it’s a rather recent tradition for everyday folks, and essentially built on a marketing campaign.

But it’s also self-perpetuating, because now if a man doesn’t spend thousands of dollars on a ring, people think he’s some broke hipster. And if you’re a woman explaining to friends or family that you got engaged, but don’t have a ring (or at least one without a big diamond), you’ll get a field of skeptical looks.

It’s important to remember though that if you don’t have the title “Archduke” in front of your name, it might not be the smartest move blowing through a month or two’s income as you’re starting your lives together. Really ask yourselves if it’s something the two of you truly want, or is it something you’re doing just because it’s expected of you?

[EDITOR’S NOTE: I definitely fell into the latter trap and didn’t even second guess the cost of the ring when I picked it up a decade ago. $7,000 right out the door like that, and my wife doesn’t even wear it anymore! Haha… I wouldn’t have had the balls to go against the grain back then, but I would now.]

#2. Keep it Small (or Let’s Say, “Cozy”)

At about $15,000, the reception venue is usually the biggest wedding expense. And the cost of a wedding scales as you invite more people. More people means a bigger venue, more food, more flowers, more invitations, and more complex photography and videography.

Keeping the guest list intimate – close family and best friends only – helps control costs. If you’re the ones spending money on it, you can make your special day as big or small as you want it. It’s for you, not for everyone else!

A natural venue can help as well. Although there are downsides, having a beach wedding, a park wedding, or a backyard wedding can be beautiful ways to keep the cost down.

Brides.com has a useful article on park weddings, including the pitfalls to avoid and details to be aware of. If you pull something like that off successfully, you can save a ton of cash while still having a beautiful time. You’re already paying the taxes for the park, so you might as well benefit from it!

[EDITOR’S NOTE: This is another thing I would have probably changed too… We had a ton of fun dancing through the night with 180+ people, but looking back we would have been just as happy with maybe only 50-60 of them (and definitely without all the random cousins and people you never hang out with in life anyways). It was definitely a party for everyone else more so than us. Though I did almost tear up when 10 of them went out and got mohawks during the break from the wedding and the reception :) Such a cool surprise!!]

Final Thoughts

A wedding is a deeply personal thing, and colored by tradition.

For some people, not having a large and expensive wedding would be unthinkable. And for them, the best thing they can do is budget for it ahead of time.

But for a lot of people, perhaps even half, they feel pressured to have a big wedding, and even go into debt to finance it. It’s not necessarily that they specifically want a big wedding, it’s that they feel they should.

The problem is that doing things the common way leads to the common outcome. Most people with middle-class incomes have low net worth, too much debt, and are not on track for retirement.

The whole personal finance blogosphere is meant to help us re-examine everything, to take a step back and figure out where we actually should spend money and where we can save a ton. That way, we can maximize our happiness but still have rock-solid finances.

I like spending money on travel, healthy food, decent clothes, and various hobbies, but not a ton else. Big events and jewelry, not so much.

The best thing we can do for our finances, I think, is separate what makes us happy from what is common or expected, and make sure we spend mostly on the first category.

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EDITOR’S NOTE: If you’re already married reading this, how much did you end up spending on your wedding? Were you happy you did, or would you have done things differently?

Thanks for the insightful article, Lyn! And for not bashing those who DO love a big fancy wedding!

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Lyn works in engineering management, running the day-to-day operations and finances of an engineering facility. On the side she does website development and freelance writing, and creates in-depth guides on financial topics at LynAlden.com. You can also see Lyn’s first featured guest post – and quite the juicy one! – here: What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness.

[This post, Why I Skipped My Own Wedding to Save Money, was first published by Guest Author on Elite Edge Money]

If you ever had to attend a wedding or any of the parties that surround it, you’re going to appreciate this email. If you’re the couple who’s referenced here, you’re probably not :)

I want your comments/tips/thoughts afterwards!

Hi there,

I have a question for you. I have an engagement party this weekend. On the lovely commercially printed invite are the words “wishing well optional.” Now, I lived in Canada for 20 years up until 2 years ago when I moved back to Australia. I have never heard of a wishing well or been to an engagement party over there. I mean, a party for this type of thing seems so unnecessary when there will be a hen night/ bucks night and a wedding within the next year.

The thing that has got me is the “wishing well.” My friends are well set up. Both have jobs, they have a home they are paying off which is modest and I am sure they will own outright eventually and I am pretty sure no debt as she is a smart saver. I am stuck on this concept.

Do I give a couple who has everything cash? It says “wishing well optional” but then am I a tight wad friend if I do not give to the wishing well? The thought of forking over cash ( I thought $30) seems gross to a frugal weirdo like me. I do not however want to be the lame friend who gives a home made card and a punch in the arm “good luck” type of thing.

They are paying for the party and all the booze etc at the party. I wanted to get some opinions on this. It is not being able to afford sticking some money in the card, it is more the idea of supporting a grossly extravagant concept.

What would you do?

I love this email for a number of reasons. First, it shows how worldwide money is and how far its predicaments spread. Secondly, it’s funny to hear that bachelors/bachelorettes have been  internationally turned into farm animals  ;) And lastly, I love me a good debate on cash giving!!

I wrote her back pretty much saying that, yes, it all sounds pretty extravagant and sucks that she now has to (or at least feels like she has to) give gift upon gift at all these parties she’s attending, but also that I’d probably just plunk down the cash and do my best not to stew in it. And $30 seems fine too.

Is that sweeping the issue under the rug? Maybe. But here’s why I’d do it:

1. I don’t like drama
2. It’s *their* day and can celebrate however they see fit – even if it’s ridiculous to the rest of us
3. I have much bigger problems to stress out about and fix
4. If you’re going to give a gift anyways, why not give them what you know they want?

Why are Wishing Wells so popular?

Now, I’m biased here because I personally LOVE giving and receiving cash gifts (have you ever seen anyone turn money down?? :)), but it also solves the problem of trying to give someone something when it appears they already have everything they need too. And let’s just assume they do, even though we all know appearances can be deceiving.

In fact, at our own wedding we gave the option of contributing to our “honeymoon fund” so we wouldn’t go into debt with it. I’m sure people found that tacky, but we had the obligatory registries at Bed Bath and Beyond, as well as Target for the *ahem* budget conscious guest as well. So it was totally up to the guests to do as they please. The cool part about the honeymoon thing though was that the site we used to form it offered the ability to tie your financial gift towards objects like “dinner outs” or “massages” or even the plane tickets we needed to get there. So that helped make it feel like a “real” gift as well. Though again, I’m just as happy receiving cash money anytime, anywhere, from any person!

But I digress…

Point is – money makes people feel all kinds of things. And in a perfect world we want that feeling to be a positive one and not stress you the hell out. So while you now know *my* feelings on such a dilemma, I’d love to get yours so it’s more well-rounded and our dear reader here can help make up her mind as to how to proceed this weekend.

Oh, and what IS a wishing well btw?

Here’s what good ol’ Wiki has to say about it:

A wedding wishing well is a fancy donation box that is gaining popularity among bridal couples (up to 60% of weddings have them), who have often lived together before marrying, or who have been previously married, and do not need any of the traditional wedding gifts. They are also sometimes found at showers to collect monetary gifts for the guests of honor, as well as wedding wishes or marriage quotes, poems and messages of congratulations.

Wishing Wells looks like this:

(This is a bird cage style by Etsy seller LoRustique)

And, coincidentally, I literally JUST came back from a wedding myself this weekend and actually saw a wishing well staring right back at me! Which I then plopped in our card and (*gasp*) the cash that accompanied it. We used to give physical gifts, but again after seeing how much we loved receiving money ourselves at our own wedding, we decided that’s what we’d be giving going forward too. And because I hate always wondering and thinking of how much to give people (so stressful!) now my wife and I just give the same amount every time to the bride and groom: $100. Life’s been easy ever since :)

(I also have a universal tipping rule of 20% too, no matter the service. This sometimes means morons get more than they deserve, but it’s all about saving mental energy in the end.)

Now I’ve only ever seen these boxes/birdcage wishing wells at the actual wedding day ceremony and not an engagement party, so if they’ll be at both for our reader here, then I’ll agree it’s probably a bit much. Unless whatever you give at the engagement party will count for your wedding gift too? (Yeah right!). But seriously, there are a million wedding events these days, like the bridal shower, bucks/hens nights, rehearsals and dinners, etc. etc. If we were to give money at every single event, that’s a lot of coin to drop for 1 couple! you’d think one gift registry should kinda cover all wedding related events, right?

And what’s an “engagement party” btw?

If you’ve never heard those either, like myself? It’s a party held to “celebrate a couple’s recent engagement and to help future wedding guests to get to know one another.” Kinda old-timey if you ask me, but then again I could just not be hip to the game… I almost spit out my coffee though when I came across this gem in a discussion board: “I actually think that engagement parties are so 80’s. Just get married already.”

Okay, so the two options I see here for our dear reader is as follows:

1. Don’t go to the engagement party and then you don’t have to worry about it
2. Go and just drop in a few bucks and then try to forget about it

Sure you can go and not give anything since it’s technically “optional,” but you’ll probably feel bad/ annoyed the entire time and it’ll just ruin the event(s) for you. Try to have a good time and celebrate!

Okay, now for real I want y’all to chime in and give us your thoughts here on this wish thing… What would you do in this case? Speak up and say something? Bring/make a gift instead? Budget your gifts into 3 equal parts which add up to the cost of 1 normal wedding gift in the end? ;)

Share your views below and let’s hook up our friend here… I’m going to get the popcorn.

——
[Wedding cake topper pic by Sailor Coruscant]

[This post, “What The Hell Is a Wishing Well Wedding?”, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

[Guest author today, Andy Prescott, from ArtofBeingCheap.com. Who certainly proves it today ;)]

Once in a while I hear a statistic about how the average wedding in America costs $25,000 and I cringe. I also read headlines about how to “plan a wedding on a budget,” and I always read them just so I can laugh that the writers think getting married for $5,000 or $10,000 is a “great deal.”

I got married in Las Vegas for $500, and if I had to do it all over again I would do it exactly the same. I understand it’s not for everybody, but for the right people it’s a great way to save thousands of dollars.

Should you get married in Las Vegas?

Have you or your future spouse been happily dreaming about your big wedding with hundreds of people since elementary school? Don’t get married in Las Vegas.

Have you or your future spouse always imagined coming down the aisle in a beautiful dress while everybody you know oohs and ahhs? You probably shouldn’t get married in Las Vegas.

Would you getting married in Las Vegas be a big disappointment to your family or your future in-laws, because they are just as excited about your big day as you are? ou definitely shouldn’t get married in Las Vegas.

But for us it was the right choice.  My wife grew up with an interesting background.  She is from an ultra-conservative religious group that doesn’t take very kindly to their women marrying outsiders. Most of her family disowned her when they found out she was dating me, and that I refused to convert to their religion. That is a story for another day, but the important point here is that almost none of my wife’s family would have attended a regular wedding, and seeing a church with one side completely empty would have been very disappointing to her.

As for my family, they are all wonderful, supportive people who would have all come to see me get married. On the other hand, they probably weren’t too disappointed that they couldn’t go. They knew it wasn’t going to be that great of a party, anyway. A quick ceremony at the cheapest available venue, followed by sandwiches in my parent’s basement is how I like to roll.

I know of one other couple that thought getting married in Las Vegas was for them. One of them is very shy and the thought of being the center of attention in front of hundreds of people was horrifying.

I’m sure there are plenty of other reasons you may not want a big wedding, but whatever they are, just keep in mind that a cheap wedding in Las Vegas is always an option.

Planning the Vegas Wedding

A wedding in Las Vegas can be whatever you want it to be. A quick simple wedding could cost as little as $55. For a little more you could have your wedding officiated by an Elvis impersonator or whatever other silly theme you want to have.

My wife and I chose to have a very plain and simple wedding for about $300 at the Golden Nugget, which is considered to be the nicest hotel in the downtown area.

The wedding was very nice. It was in a small chapel that looked a lot like a church, and was conducted by a genuine Roman Catholic priest who was dressed like a genuine Roman Catholic priest. My wife wore a very simple wedding dress that she looked amazing in and I wore dress pants and a dress shirt. There ceremony was pretty normal, with normal vows, and a normal speech from the Priest of which I recall not a word.

There wasn’t anything silly about our ceremony.

The best part about paying a little extra for the package was how easy everything was. The $300 we paid included a wedding planner and a photographer. The wedding planner told us how to pre-register for a marriage license to save us time, arranged for the priest and photographer, got my wife a bouquet, and took care of more little details than I know.

After the wedding she even suggested the nicest restaurant to go to in the downtown area to celebrate. Our package included a couple of wedding pictures, but my wife’s favorite picture was the selfie we took in our hotel room right before the ceremony started.

Here is how easy everything was:  I was at a conference which got out at 1pm. Our wedding was at 4pm, which gave us plenty of time to go get the marriage license, meet with our wedding planner to make sure everything was going to go smooth like a rhapsody, and get ready. I even had time to go play a little blackjack while my wife got her makeup on.

The only disagreement my wife and I have had about our wedding is the issue of a honeymoon. She says I still owe her one, but I say that getting married in Las Vegas counts as a honeymoon. I pointed out that in Las Vegas you can see New York City, Venice, Paris, ancient Rome, and the pyramids all in one place, which sounds like the greatest honeymoon of all time. She points out that the miniature versions don’t count as a real honeymoon.

I guess not everything about getting married in Las Vegas is perfect.

——–
Andy Prescott is a CPA who writes artofbeingcheap.com, which he describes as an instruction manual to saving money. He has been happily married for 2 years.

EDITOR’S NOTE: My aunt once celebrated her 10 year anniversary in Vegas where they renew their vows in front of all their family. And, of course, an Elvis impersonator. So if getting married there the first time isn’t up your ally, perhaps a fun 2nd time might be? :)

Photo cred: Moyan_Brenn

[This post, How I Saved Money Getting Married in Las Vegas, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

If there’s one thing I enjoy out of this life (besides babies, money, love, sex, beer…), it’s putting a close to unresolved issues ;) The worst thing in the world is to have a problem open for months on end, constantly nagging you, until you finally just lose it and decide to knock it all out once and for all (and then of course kick yourself for waiting so long in the first place!).

That pretty much sums up the stress a few of these have recently caused me over the years (yes, two of them had been going on *for years*!), and I’m happy to report that we now have some final successes! WOOHOO! And instead of writing out some long boring blog pots about each of them (which I’d been trying to do for the past two months now), I figured I’d just shoot y’all the summaries and call it a day ;) If anyone wants me to elaborate on any of them or go into deeper details, just ask away in the comments and I’ll be more than happy to hook ya up!

The 3 latest issues we kicked in the ass:

1. The Wedding Ring Fiasco

This was the most recent situation, and also the easiest one to resolve! Though I didn’t really know it going in ;)  I had been trying for years to get my dumb wedding ring swapped out because it kept falling apart (crazy, I know), but every dang manager at the store told me it couldn’t be done “due to their policies.”  So, as many of you probably recall, I blogged my heart out about it last month and was quickly met with a lot of “that’s messed up!”s, as well as a few suggestions to tweet or call them up on top of it.  And I did!

I first tweeted the link to my post to @Helzberg, and literally seconds later I got a response saying they’d love to help me and to DM my contact info.  So I did, and a few hours later a rep called me back to hear my story out and see what they can do. And they must have given me their start player over there cuz this guy (Courtney) was by far the best customer service rep I have ever dealt with over the phone in my 32 years on this earth.  He was kind, respectful, and most importantly LISTENED to me and understood that there was a problem here than needed to get fixed.

Fast forward a few phone calls and approvals here and there, and 2 days later my issue was resolved!

Not only did I get a full value replacement of my ring that had shot up 3 times worth since I bought it years ago (we paid around $500 for it and the exact same ring now goes for $1,500+ due to the increase in gold!), but they also let me keep my life-time warranty on the new ring as well – something that originally I was gonna have to pay for again, and would have gladly done so (a $150 value). So my love was restored with Helzberg Diamonds, and I’m the proud new owner of a ring I’ll actually wear again every single day of my life ;) That’s a picture of my new ring up above there – I def. should have called a lot sooner!

2. The Moldy Bathroom

Oh man, I never thought I’d see the day when this one was wiped from our to-do list ;)  The wife had been talking about it for literally two years, but as soon as we realized it could not only be endangering OUR health, but also our baby’s!, we knew we finally had to do something about it.

So we hired a handyman, decided to “do it right” and upgrade the tiles and features of the shower since it would only cost a few hundred dollars more, and 3 weeks later we were set!  Total price tag: $2,500.  More than we originally budgeted for, but at the end of the day we were done dealing with it and just happy to be mold-free again as well as now having a sexy place to take showers going forward ;) That before & after picture at the top was/is our new shower!

3. The Leaking Bathroom

The month of May was a nightmare for us here out our house. Not only were we dealing with that moldy bathroom situation above there, but our water heater had just burned out and needed replacement, and then our 2nd bathroom started acting up because we were using it more due to our moldy bathroom being fixed!  It was a nightmare!

Fortunately though we decided to do a LOT more research this time than the first go around w/ the handyman services, and instead of paying the $700 initially quoted to fix the water leakage, it ended up costing us about a little less than $200 by contracting a plumber instead :)  And then a drywall guy just to patch it up on the side, which is included in that $200 total (the plumber only charged us $65 for his time – part of the drainage tube just needed to be attached better – and the drywall guy charged $125 to patch up two holes we had made in the process). The only reason we did this job so fast was because the baby was hot on our trails, but I’m sooooooo glad we did cuz now – for the first time in a while (knock on wood) – our house is completely up to date and problem free! Woo!

So all of that to say KNOCK OUT THOSE PROBLEMS as fast as you can so you don’t stress yourself out too much ;)  I would have gone back and fixed all of these right from the beginning if I could because it was def. not worth the heart ache.  And I imagine the same goes for you and your current problems you’re dealing with too – whether it has to do with debt, or loans, or patching up your houses/cars, whatever.

If something’s eating away at you, make it your mission this weekend to start fixing it! And let us know what’s on your mind in the comments below so we can all support and encourage you to do so :)  Life doesn’t need to be lived more complicated!, so so suck it up and get ‘er done! (I think I’m actually gonna print that out in bold letters and staple it on my wall, haha… I need the reminder just as much as anyone does!)

GOOD LUCK!

[This post, Your Mission This Weekend: Resolve Something!, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

(By Victoria)

Love and marriage – the blissfulness of the romance, the wedding day, the honeymoon, the “forever I’m yours” vows… picture perfect! One of the primary tasks for most newlyweds is to begin the merging of assets once they return from the honeymoon. Joint accounts are opened, names are changed, legal documents are updated, and incomes are merged.

But the one thing I always wonder about is what happens to the old debt?

You Say “I do,” but Do You?

I love weddings. I’m a big baby and so I generally tear up throughout the entire ceremony. I think I get so emotional because I strongly believe in what the institution of marriage is all about – the togetherness of two different people joining as one. With the romance aside, I begin to think about how different those two separate lives were before they joined as one, and how those different lives are put to rest. Financially speaking (because I love talking money!), I think about how couples merge debts, or if debts prior to marriage are the responsibility of each spouse?

Of course I wanted to get some answers, so I decided to ask around and see what people thought. I asked a handful of married and non married individuals about debts prior to marriage. All of the people I asked stated they believe once married, all debts prior to marriage should be paid by the couple and is no longer just the responsibility of the individual debtor. It was no longer “his debt” or “her debt” but “our debt”. Pretty noble I think!

I was pleasantly surprised by this survey because I’ve heard and have come across many situations where married couples strongly believe that debts that occurred prior to marriage should be paid by the individual spouse. If you ever listen to Dave Ramsey’s talk show you’d know what I am talking about. I’m not sure if this is a normal thing in American society, or if those callers are a part of a dysfunctional partnership and should not be considered the norm. I’ve personally witnessed married individuals tense up at the thought of the other spouse’s credit card debts or student loans. They quickly respond stating “that’s not my problem”- but should it be?

Legally Speaking…

I’m not an attorney, but I wanted to see if there were any legal matters to consider when it comes to a spouse’s old debts. Doing a quick Google search, I found that a spouse is not legally liable to pay the other spouses debts that were incurred prior to marriage. While I think this is good, I also think about other ways the old debts can have an impact on the marriage. If the debt is not in good standing it could certainly hurt the individual’s credit score. With a credit score in the dumps, it may leave the other spouse holding all of the financial weight when it comes to applying for loans like a mortgage. No bueno!!

Personally, I believe once married all debts, including the old college loan, becomes “our” debt. I even believe if a spouse pays child support from a previous relationship, it should be “we pay child support” instead of “he/ she pays, that’s their problem”. It is very important couples discuss finances BEFORE they walk down the aisle so that they know what’s ahead of them and they are able to create a game plan. I like the idea of sharing and oneness when it comes to marriage (call me old fashion!). I strongly believe once you take the vow and say “I do” you “do” old debts and all.

————
Guest post by Victoria @ Lend Not Borrow, who discusses all levels of personal finance – from getting out of debt and quick financial tips, to savvy investment strategies. Of course it’s never just all work…there’s always some play! To add spice into the mix, Victoria loves topics that are thought-provoking that gets EVERYONE talking! Opinions are crucial…so share your thoughts!!

(Photo by Corey Leopold)

[This post, When You Say “I Do!” Who Pays The Debt?, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

Something interesting happened the other day when I walked into our jewelry store. My wedding ring had been getting a bit funky again, so as always I went in where I bought it 4+ years ago and once again tried to get it replaced altogether. But like the previous 4 trips of me talking with a manager (I get a different one each time), the answer was a solid “No,” and instead I was left with the only option that’s ever available to me each time: Get a brand new version of the same ring.

Now, it could certainly be worse in that I’d have to PAY for this new ring every 2 years to get it replaced (I was smart enough to purchase a lifetime warranty that allows for replacements any time it’s deemed necessary – which is ALWAYS in my case), but it still sucks knowing I have to go back over and over again just to have something I thought was pretty secure from the start: A *solid* wedding band made of beautiful white gold. Is it too much to ask for something like that to remain in tact for years and years to come? Or at least THREE??

I can never go back in time and pick out a different one, but one day I hope to be able to at least SWITCH it out and convince them that it makes sense for *every* party involved. How could a company be okay with giving out a brand new ring every 2 years to someone rather than just allowing them to swap in a DIFFERENT one of equal size and value? That’s gotta be expensive, right? It makes no sense to me at all – financially OR customer service-y. I wouldn’t think a business wants their customers complaining about how a product of theirs falls apart all the time, or they get so frustrated they went out and BLOGGED about it, right? ;) That can’t be good…

It’s not like I’m asking for something crazy here. And I can guarantee I’m not the only person with this same problem too – especially considering I RARELY even wear the ring much anyways (I don’t like having them on my fingers when I type, so I only slip it on when we go out and about outside the home). If that thing can break being worn a few hours (if that) every other day or so, others’ are breaking too. And probably at a much faster pace. It’s bad enough I already lost my original ring that was blessed by a good priest friend of ours who no longer lives in the area :( These rings are special!

Maybe I’ll try writing a nice old fashioned letter to the president or something? I love the company (Helzberg Jewelers), but man, I’m just in awe… Have any of YOUR wedding bands or rings broke? I know it’s handwoven and all, but jeez – I’ve never heard of such a thing…

OH! And get this. Not to get totally off topic here (which is pretty funny cuz THIS was what I was originally planning to write about in this post! Haha…), but when I went to go look at rings that were of similar value, I saw that my ring now goes for over $1,500!! When I purchased it 4 years ago it was only around $500! How crazy is that? Because of the value of gold over the years though, the ring has more than TRIPLED in price even though it’s still the EXACT same thing! Haha…. if only I picked up my gold coin back in the day too ;)

Y’all should see how much YOUR rings are worth now :) Especially if they’re made of gold. I’m sure those who picked ’em up a looooooong time ago are wearing some pretty expensive metal around your fingers now! I can’t even imagine how low it all was even 10 or 20 years ago?

Anyways though, back to my letter writing campaign idea – I think I’m gonna try it. Other than them finding this blog post or maybe getting lucky one day, I don’t see how I’ll ever be able to resolve this situation 100% to my liking.

What would you do if YOUR ring kept falling apart every few years? I know it’s just a piece of metal and not the REAL love my wife and I share together, but it’s still a symbol of it, ya know? I’d prefer not to have another 35 more rings over the course of my lifetime if possible – I don’t think that’s too much to ask ;)

————–
UPDATE: I tweeted back and forth with Helzberg (@Helzberg) and they’ve promised to have a rep call me soon to see what we can do :) FINGERS CROSSED!!

UPDATE #2: We chatted and they’re working on a solution! I really REALLY hope it works out, and will blog about the outcome soon! Thanks for all your support, everyone :)

[This post, My Unfortunate Wedding Ring, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

For the 4th time this year, I’m about to head off to yet again another wedding. Which means we’ll now have spent a little over $400 in cash just in wedding gifts alone ;) (We always give $100 checks + a tad more at times if we’re feeling more generous. Everyone loves money!)

But as I started getting all my clothes and gators ready for another rehearsal party we’ll be attending later on today, a few “what if” questions started circling my brain.  I don’t know where the heck they always come from, but as you know I can never pass them up once in my brain.  And lucky for me I have a blog where I can shoot them out for the world to see! ;)

So let’s pretend some of these things come up at your next wedding invite.  What do you do??

1. You’re asked to bring your own food (a la pot luck) to cut down on costs.
2. Then you’re asked to bring your own alcohol too!
3. To save space, you’re not allowed to bring a date.
4. You’re not allowed to talk at all at the reception, you can only draw or write stuff out…
5. The wedding will be a “Halloween” theme, so you have to come in costume ;)

Hahahaa… GOOD ones, huh?  I do like to impress myself every now and then, that’s for sure ;)  I don’t know about you, but  here’s how I’d react in each of these scenarios:

1. BYO food: Fine by me!  I mean yeah, I’d miss the free meal and all that, but $hit – I can appreciate some frugality!  You’re about to start your lives together and you need to save some money for that, I understand.  I’d whip up a MAD amount of peanut butter& jellies and proudly walk them over to the dinner table ;)  The kids there would love me!
2. BYO beer:  Oh man, now THIS one would suck.  Although *much* better than a 100% dry event in my opinion…  I’d run out and grab a case of both Blue Moon and PBR (so that everyone could enjoy!), and it would probably cost less than 2 glasses of whatever these places usually charge anyway ;) And then everyone would have a VARIETY to choose from all night – how awesome?
3. No date:  This would probably be the hardest :(  My favorite parts of weddings are dancing and hanging out with the wifey along w/ all my boys’ wives too!  Without them we’d all get in LOADS of trouble out there, haha… although that would certainly be fun too ;)
4. No talky:  OUCH. Is there music at least??? Cuz without that *everything* would blow. It would be like a high school dance all over again except everyone’s wearing ear muffs :( I don’t know if I could do it… I’d TRY, but I’d probably fail miserably and get kicked out. I’m not good at being quiet.
5. Halloween theme: YES!!! That would be a dream come true!!! I’ve wanted to go to ANY themed wedding, really, for years – and a Halloween one would take the cake.  I mean hell, even if you didn’t WANT to dress up, you could always go as James Bond or a ball room dancer or something that allows you to dress up normally at a wedding, yeah?  Everyone would think you’re lame, but technically you’d be following the rules ;)  I’d either go as a hardcore rocker so I could wear eyeliner and color up my spikey mohawk more, OR find a hot pink bunny suit cuz I always find those hilarious, haha… we’d have to see what my mood was at the time.

What about you guys??  Would you still attend the wedding if any of the above were to happen?  Would it matter if they were close friends/family or not, or would you be game either way?

At the end of the day, weddings are supposed to be about coming together with loved ones and CELEBRATING with each other. It’s a once in a lifetime event (hopefully!), and you want all your supporters there to rejoice with you. It’s a beautiful thing!! So I could really care less about all our modern day etiquette and what all the “gurus” say is appropriate or not at these things…  If the couple wants something different, so be it!  It’s THEIR wedding, and they’re paying a FORTUNE for it!

Am I crazy? :)

——-
PS: Here are some other wedding questions we pondered a year ago too – this stuff fascinates me…

(Photo by Emrys.Roberts)

[This post, BYO Wedding?, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]

I gotta great question for y’all today!  One of our fellow readers is about to propose to his girlfriend (woohoo!) but he needs our help first in determining the best strategy to pay off the engagement ring.  Should he use cash or credit, or some combination of both?  How did YOU guys pick up the ring?

Here’s his question in more detail, along w/ my own opinions below.  Let’s hook him up!

“I will be making an engagement ring purchase in the near future and expect to spend $10-15k on it (not looking for opinions on “How Much I Should Spend on a Ring,” but the amount spent does play a factor in my question).

I believe the best strategy is to save up the total cost in CASH, but make the purchase on a rewards or cash-back credit card and pay it off immediately. However, another point to consider is that many stores offer a discount (e.g. $500) if the purchase is made in cash.

So what do you think? Should I go with cash, or would I be able to utilize a rewards card to achieve maximum benefit (and if so, which one)? I’d like to get the most out of this giant one-time purchase so your help is greatly appreciated.”

Good one!  And funny that you mention that you’re not looking for opinions on the price tag of that ring, haha… I’m sure you’ll get some at that range! ;)  But keeping that part out of it, I think you’re smart in researching the options for sure.

I think it’s going to depend on *where* you get the ring, but for me I know that I didn’t want to drop a lot of cash all at once like that. My wife’s ring cost around $7,000 if I recall correctly, and I did something similar to what you mentioned up there.  The store I picked it up at (Helzberg Diamonds), had a deal where you could plop it on their card and they’d give you 12 months of 0% interest.  And since I knew I wanted to pay it all off within the year anyways, I jumped on it and just paid off the $500+ every month to keep my cash reserves nice and high still.

So my vote is to find a card that can float you for a while (or get the cash back rewards like you said), and use the cash you already have to slowly pay it off.  While you make more over the year to keep it topped off :)  I’m a big fan of having a lot of money on hand, even if you *could* pay it all off at once.  Wherever you pick up the ring too, you’d be able to do this pretty easily.

Or, as you mentioned, you can see if any of theses stores offer a discount if you pay with cash up front.  I’ve never heard of that myself, but I’m sure it’s out there.  And you know what? You could STILL do the c/c method too, if you sign up for one on the side and then cut yourself a check to pay the diamond store.  You’d get your $500 cash discount or whatever, and then have it all on your 0% card to pay off throughout the terms.  Best of both worlds!

So that’s my opinion on it all.  How about you guys? All my beautiful readers?!  What would YOU do if you were in this position?  However it works out in the end, my friend, I wish you nothing but happiness!  Getting married is all kinds of exciting – be sure to soak it all up :)

***UPDATE*** Our reader friend is now engaged! Woohoo! The picture of his ring is above…. and here’s what he just emailed me:

“Total cost (of ring): $12,679….This comes out to exactly 1.5 months salary (well below the 3 month guideline!!!). AND it was appraised for $14,500. Now, obviously this isn’t an “investment” in the traditional sense but is nice to know I got more than what I paid for. No regrets – I proposed in Napa at an incredible winery and she said yes : D”

Next up is their wedding which he approximates will cost around $23,000 – Good luck!

———–
PS: Here’s a couple other posts we’ve done in the past too, maybe it’ll help:

— Cute Leather Box Containing Financial Heart Attack
— 3 Tips to Putting BLING on That Finger of Hers.

— Best Places To Sell an Engagement Ring (Or places to buy second-hand rings!)

(Ring pop photo by Alyssa L. Miller)

[This post, Help a Reader: Cash or Credit for Engagement Ring?, was first published by J. Money on Elite Edge Money]